There is this amazing misconception, that if the rapist is not a total stranger hiding in the dark alley (which happens in a fraction of assault cases), it is most probably the victim’s fault. She drank, she wore inappropriate clothes, she was flirting. Blablabla. And poor men of course cannot resist, because as soon as they see a naked shoulder, they have an erection, and as soon as they have an erection, they just can’t think straight. Poor things.
Let’s just imagine a hypothetical situation. A guy with his girlfriend is getting into bed. They get naked, everything is great, everybody’s happy. And then, before they really get into it, the girl suddenly gets a stomach ache. Let’s say, she has eaten something wrong for dinner. So all of a sudden she is not into sex anymore. Or, another scenario, a landline phone is ringing, her mother leaves a voice message with some upsetting news. Again, the girl suddenly does not want to proceed. So what, the guy won’t be able to stop? Will he have a heart attack or be traumatized by this lost erection? No! It’s totally possible for a guy to stop in the middle of sex if the girl – for any reason – has changed her mind.
So all these stories about a couple getting into bed, and the girl suddenly asking the guy to stop, and the guy not stopping and having sex with the girl without her consent, and then the girl being accused of confusing the guy with her changing moods – these stories really drive me mad. In the story described in the article I mentioned above, they have already had sex sometime during the previous year, and this time she went in bed with him willingly, and then he did things that she clearly asked him not to do. And then she had hard time explaining to the University what happened, because they did not want to believe her.
So all these arguments about drunken girls in miniskirts... Puhleeze! Just stop this bullshit. Is it so difficult to educate everybody (including University administration) the simple rules of determining where consent starts and ends? I thought colleges are about teaching.