Elizaveta Friesem
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NEW ESSAY: Agency as "Wiggle Room"

1/13/2026

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This is the latest essay I published in my project POWER of meanings // MEANINGS of power. 

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We are born into constraints so ordinary that they become invisible: a particular nervous system, a particular family story, a language, a culture, a body that wants and fears before “I” can even form a sentence. Add to this the constraint that we don’t fully understand ourselves—our motives, triggers, blind spots—and the fantasy of unlimited freedom becomes hard to defend. And yet the opposite fantasy—that we are merely programmed—fails too. It doesn’t match lived experience, and it invites fatalism.

What seems truer is something narrower and stranger: a small, shifting space inside the constraints where choice can occur. Not a wide-open field. Wiggle room.

The phrase matters because it forces a more honest scale. In many moments, agency is not a grand power to redesign one’s life at will. It is the ability to make a small adjustment inside a much larger pressure. It is a narrow opening in a crowded room. It is a few degrees of movement inside a system that doesn’t budge easily. When we call it “wiggle room,” we acknowledge two things at once: the constraints are real, and they are not the whole story...

Keep reading here.


[This essay will be included in the Newsletter#20 on January 13.]

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I use AI tools as a kind of writing partner—to shape drafts, clarify arguments, and explore phrasing. But the ideas, perspectives, and direction are always my own. Every piece here is part of an evolving personal project. For more details about my use of AI, see here.
  • About
  • Books
    • Media is us >
      • Principles of communication
      • Micro- and macropower
      • ACE model
      • Description of chapters
    • Hypertexts >
      • Me, looking for meaning >
        • A >
          • Are you an individual?
        • B
        • C
        • D
        • E >
          • Empathy with Boundaries
        • F
        • G
        • H >
          • Human thinking
          • Human thinking is nonlinear
        • I >
          • Ideas
        • J
        • K
        • L >
          • List of completed pages
          • The Lure of Special
        • M >
          • Make Sense
          • Mean and stupid
          • Meaning
          • Meaningless
          • Meaning-making vs. sensemaking
          • My quest for meaning
          • The Myth of "Bad People"
        • N >
          • Narratives and Circumstances
        • O >
          • On being a scholar
        • P >
          • Postmodern philosophy
        • Q
        • R >
          • Reality
          • Rethinking What It Means to “Love Your Enemy”
          • Rhizome in philosophy
        • S >
          • Stories we tell
          • Symbolic interactionism and Buddhism
        • T >
          • The importance of having a purpose
          • Three Blind Men vs Rashomon
          • Three Coordinates
          • Trust and Conflict (and Dragons)
        • U
        • V
        • W >
          • What does it mean to "understand"?
          • Why do people hurt each other?
          • Why is language so unhelpful?
          • Moral complexity and ambiguity of truth in Wicked
        • X
        • Y
        • Z
  • Editing
    • Me as your editor
    • How I will help you
    • Pricing
    • Privacy policy
  • Blog
  • Poetry
    • Video poems (English and Russian) >
      • Butterfly (poem)
      • One day, I will return (poem)
      • Where are you now? (poem)
      • Hole in the world (poem)
      • Wondering (poem)
      • Wanderer II (poem)
      • What people call love (poem)
      • Lullaby (poem)
      • You Walk Along These Streets (Poem in Russian)
    • Russian poems >
      • Stranger
      • Lonely heart
      • Fairy tales
      • Dreams and nightmares
      • Puzzles
      • Moon
      • Seasons
      • Muse
      • Art
      • Games
      • Sketches
      • Nonsense
  • Learn more
    • Bio
    • Talks and interviews
    • Essays
    • Epoxy resin
    • Photography
    • Workshops >
      • Five (easy) steps to become media literate
      • Surviving the polarization vortex
      • Understanding yourself
      • Not enough
  • Contact me