Elizaveta Friesem
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NEW ESSAY: What’s Wrong with Them?​ When Abnormality Becomes an Explanation

9/15/2026

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This is the latest essay I published in my project​ Me, Looking for Meaning. 

​In another essay, I wrote about a familiar way of explaining people whose behavior disturbs us. They are mean. Or they are stupid. Moral inferiority and intellectual inferiority provide two convenient answers to the question of why somebody would do something we find cruel, destructive, or incomprehensible.

But there is another answer we reach for surprisingly often: there must be something wrong with them. We call people crazy, insane, psychopaths, narcissists, mentally unstable, not normal. These descriptions are not all equivalent. Some borrow loosely from psychological or psychiatric language; others function mainly as insults. What interests me here is what they can have in common: they place the person somewhere outside what we imagine to be normal human behavior.

The underlying logic can be simple: Someone behaves in a way I find unacceptable. I would never behave like that. Therefore, there must be some fundamental difference between that person and me. Whether we locate that difference in moral character, intellectual ability, or psychological abnormality, the result can be the same: reassuring distance between “people like that” and people like us.

You can continue reading here.
[This essay will be included in Newsletter#26.]​
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I use AI tools as a kind of writing partner—to shape drafts, clarify arguments, and explore phrasing. But the ideas, perspectives, and direction are always my own. Every piece here is part of an evolving personal project. For more details about my use of AI, see here.
  • About
  • Books
    • Media is us >
      • Principles of communication
      • Micro- and macropower
      • ACE model
      • Description of chapters
    • Hypertexts >
      • Me, looking for meaning >
        • A >
          • Are you an individual?
        • B
        • C >
          • Camus, Sartre, and the Questions of Meaning and Freedom
          • Culture is human nature
          • The Curse of Special
        • D
        • E >
          • Empathy with Boundaries
        • F
        • G
        • H >
          • Human thinking
          • Human thinking is nonlinear
        • I >
          • Ideas
        • J
        • K
        • L >
          • List of completed pages
          • The Lure of Special
        • M >
          • Make Sense
          • Mean and stupid
          • Meaning
          • Meaningless
          • Meaning-making vs. sensemaking
          • My quest for meaning
          • The Myth of "Bad People"
        • N >
          • Narratives and Circumstances
        • O >
          • On being a scholar
        • P >
          • Postmodern philosophy
          • The Problem With Needing to Be Good
        • Q
        • R >
          • Reality
          • Rethinking What It Means to “Love Your Enemy”
          • Rhizome in philosophy
        • S >
          • Stories we tell
          • Stories That Hold: Narrative, Identity, and the Work of Continuity
          • Symbolic interactionism and Buddhism
        • T >
          • The importance of having a purpose
          • Three Blind Men vs Rashomon
          • Three Coordinates
          • Trust and Conflict (and Dragons)
        • U
        • V
        • W >
          • What does it mean to "understand"?
          • What's wrong with them?
          • When You Are Angry at Me, Who Are You Angry At?
          • Why do people hurt each other?
          • Why does "sorry" seem to be the hardest word?
          • Why is it so hard to live together?
          • Why is language so unhelpful?
          • Moral complexity and ambiguity of truth in Wicked
        • X
        • Y
        • Z
  • Editing
    • Me as your editor
    • How I will help you
    • Pricing
    • Privacy policy
  • Blog
  • Learn more
    • Talks and interviews
    • Essays
    • Poetry >
      • English poems (full list) >
        • Butterfly (poem)
        • One day, I will return (poem)
        • Where are you now? (poem)
        • Hole in the world (poem)
        • Wondering (poem)
        • What people call love (poem)
        • Lullaby (poem)
      • Russian poems >
        • Stranger >
          • Wanderer II (poem)
        • Lonely heart >
          • You Walk Along These Streets (Poem in Russian)
        • Fairy tales
        • Dreams and nightmares
        • Puzzles
        • Moon
        • Seasons
        • Muse
        • Games
        • Sketches
    • Epoxy resin
    • Photography
  • Contact me