Elizaveta Friesem
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Mean and Stupid

PAGE IN PROGRESS
What you see here is a page of my hypertext book Me, Looking for Meaning. Initially empty, it will slowly be filled with thoughts, notes, and quotes. One day, I will use them to write a coherent entry, similar to these completed pages. See this post to better understand my creative process. Thank you for your interest and patience! :)

Picture
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Image credit: Pauline Baynes 

In this illustration from the C.S. Lewis book “The Last Battle”, we can see Puzzle the donkey  wearing a lion skin and Shift the ape.

I chose it for this entry because Lewis's book perfectly incapsulates the myth or the mean and the stupid. The last book of the series describes how the world of Narnia ends, and how the beginning of the end was triggered by actions of two characters: a stupid but kind donkey manipulated by a smart and mean ape. Unwittingly, most people support the idea that most damage comes from actions of those who are either stupid or mean or both.

Most of us do not think about ourselves as either (the fact that we can sometimes say "Oh, I am so stupid" when we make a mistake does not mean that we consider ourselves stupid in general). 

Lewis most probably did not think about himself as mean or stupid. Most probably, he was not. Ironically, he may have created some damage with his well-meaning stories. In particular, it is noteworthy how his works may have contributed to ideologies of colonialism and racism. In most books, dark-skinned people residing to the South or Narnia are presented as inferior to light-skinned and fair-haired southerners. Everybody speaks English, and newcomers from England come multiple time to Narnia to save it and/or rule in it. 

1) Some people are kind and others are mean.
2) Some people are smart and others are stupid.
3) People who hurt others are usually mean and/or stupid.
4) Smart and kind people don't hurt others (most of the time).
5) "I am not mean or stupid so I don't hurt others (most of the time)".

Here is where it connects to the first explanation - that there must be something in the human nature that makes people hurt each other. Dividing everybody into neat transparent categories - mean vs. kind, good vs. bad, smart vs. stupid - is related to the tendency of the human brain to perceive the world through binaries. The tendency to see yourself as one of the "good guys" (see #5 above) can be also explained by our cognitive mechanisms. It's one of the biases that makes us prioritize our perspective over others and ignore flaws of our own thinking. The problem is that, when we strongly believe that only mean and stupid ones (which we are not) can hurt others, we very conveniently ignore how we can actually cause pain and discomfort to those around us.

When we explain the existence of human suffering by referring to intellectual and/or moral deficiencies of some people, what we mean is that these "some" people either do not understand how their actions lead to suffering or are desensitized to the suffering of others (i.e., don't care about it). We often assume that we ourselves do not have these deficiencies: we will not miss when our actions cause harm and will not ignore any harm we may cause. However, this may be wishful thinking. It's not uncommon for people to be consumed with their own emotional pain to the point that they miss other people's unmet needs. It's also not uncommon for people to suppress their empathy and knowingly hurt others for a variety of complex reasons. Even though some of us may be more attuned to feelings and needs of others, or find it more difficult to suppress empathy in themselves, I believe that all of us lack understanding and sensitivity sometimes.

Moreover, the issue of some people being potentially more cruel than others may be impossible to discuss without referring to the complicated topic of free will. In other words, can we really say that some people make conscious choice to be less attentive or less sensitive, while others consciously decide to be more empathic? Note that consciously deciding to take an action that will hurt somebody is not consciously deciding to be less sensitive. It's highly possible that some people are more sensitive than others due to circumstances outside of their control. By the same token, I am not sure I can really give myself credit for being a very empathetic person. 

Change the idea: people who hurt others are mean/stupid to people who hurt others are hurting. See Cycle of Violence, Emotional Pain, Why Do People Hurt Each Other? 
More violence since the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic - because more people are hurting.

About this project: Start page

Picture
  • About
  • Books
    • Media is us >
      • Principles of communication
      • Micro- and macropower
      • ACE model
      • Description of chapters
      • When conflicts get out of control
    • Hypertexts >
      • Me, looking for meaning >
        • A >
          • Anxiety
          • Am I strong or am I weak?
        • B >
          • Binaries
          • Both sides
          • D >
            • Depression
            • Do children ask themselves about the purpose of life?
            • Doing the right thing
        • E >
          • C >
            • Can I give myself credit for being empathetic?
            • Choice
            • Circumstances
            • Cognitive biases
            • Common sense
            • Communication
            • Content and form of this book
            • Coronavirus and me
            • Culture
            • Cycle of violence
          • Emotional pain
          • Empathy
          • Empathy as a matter of self-preservation
          • Everybody has their struggles
          • Everybody is connected
          • Explain/excuse conflation
        • F >
          • Feelings and emotions
          • Forgetting about your purpose
          • Free will
        • G >
          • Good vs. evil
        • H >
          • How much do we understand each other?
          • Human brain
          • Human nature
          • Human needs
          • Human thinking
          • Human thinking is nonlinear
          • Hypertext books
        • I >
          • I am an optimist
          • Ideas
          • "I'll never understand!"
          • Individual meanings vs. shared meanings
          • Inner compass
          • Interpretation
          • "It is what it is"
        • J
        • K >
          • Knowing your true purpose
          • Knowledge
        • L >
          • Language
          • List of completed pages
          • Literal vs. nonliteral communication
        • M >
          • Make Sense
          • May I meet this, too, with kindness
          • Meaning as importance
          • Mean and stupid
          • Meaning
          • Meaningless
          • Meaning wars
          • Meaning of life
          • Meaning communities
          • Meanings perceived by animals
          • Meaning-seeking vs. meaning-making
          • Media
          • (Mis)understanding each other's needs
          • My quest for meaning
        • N >
          • Norms
        • O >
          • Objectification
          • On being a scholar
          • On being a writer
          • On being right
        • P >
          • Paradox
          • Parenting
          • Privilege
          • Polarization
          • Postmodern worldview
          • Postmodern philosophy
          • Power
          • Power to see things in a certain way
          • Problem/solution binary
        • Q
        • R >
          • Reality
          • Rhizome in philosophy
        • S >
          • Science, religion and art
          • Self-awareness and empathy of higher order
          • Self-awareness
          • Self-empathy
          • Subjectivity and objectivity
          • Suggested citation format
          • Synesthesia
        • T >
          • "The Death of the Author"
          • The importance of having a purpose
          • Truth
        • U >
          • Understanding ourselves
          • Us and them
        • V >
          • Verbal vs. nonverbal communication
          • Violence in the human nature
        • W >
          • What does it mean to "understand"?
          • What is a text?
          • What we can learn about ourselves from media
          • What is "natural"?
          • What's the point?
          • What will this project become?
          • We hurt others when we are in pain
          • Where do meanings come from?
          • Why am I trying to stay sane?
          • Why do people hurt each other?
          • Why is language so unhelpful?
          • Why do everyday objects make sense?
          • Why do misunderstandings happen?
        • X
        • Y
        • Z
      • Power of meanings // Meanings of power
      • It's not about "them"
  • Editing
    • Me as your editor
    • How I will help you
    • Pricing
    • Privacy policy
  • Blog
  • Workshops
    • Five (easy) steps to become media literate
    • Surviving the polarization vortex
    • Understanding yourself
    • Not enough
  • Learn more
    • Bio
    • Talks and interviews
    • Poems >
      • Stranger
      • Lonely heart
      • Fairy tales
      • Dreams and nightmares
      • Puzzles
      • Moon
      • Seasons
      • Muse
      • Art
      • Sketches
      • Nonsense
    • Educational materials
  • Contact me