Elizaveta Friesem
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I AM STARTING TO DOCUMENT MY DEPARTURE FROM FACEBOOK (It's Going to Be Painful)

10/5/2021

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Picture
Today, I decided to leave Facebook and associated platforms (Instagram and WhatsApp). I am going to document my transition away from the social network that I have been using for the last fifteen years or so. Twenty years! This sounds scary. Anyhow, this is what I posted on Facebook today in order to alert my friends about my decision:

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi all,

I am writing to let you know that I am most probably going to leave Facebook soon. After reading reports about the latest testimony by the whistleblower Frances Haugen, I am very upset. For a while now, I did not think that Facebook is oh-so-wonderful. According to Haugen's testimony, the situation is way worse than I imagined.

If you are familiar with my worldview, you should know that I value both accountability and empathy. I do not think that people who work at Facebook are evil. They make choices based on their biases (like all of us do) and limited by multiple constraints (that we all have). I am sure each of these people has a story that explains their motives in a way that would go beyond the "they are just horrible human beings" kind of explanation. At the same time, I think that any actions that hurt others should have some meaningful consequences - ideally, diminishing the harm. Biases and constraints cannot be fully eliminated, but most people have at least some freedom to make different decisions.

If you follow my work, you may also be familiar with my whole "media is us" argument. I think that Facebook is not merely the people who run it, but also all the people who are using it. And I don't feel comfortable being one of the latter anymore. This means deleting Instagram and WhatsApp as well, sigh. By the way, I also do not think that people who keep using Facebook and its products are somehow bad. So if you are staying, me leaving is not the same as me judging your choice.
​
All of this will take some time, as I want to try saving some of the content I have here and making sure I am not losing my contacts (especially on WhatsApp). The process I anticipate will be very sad and annoying (it will take a few days, maybe weeks), but this just feels like the right thing to do right now. Once I am gone from Facebook, you will be able to find updates about my life and work on my personal website elizavetafriesem.com.
Stay safe! Love to all.
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  • About
  • Books
    • Media is us >
      • Principles of communication
      • Micro- and macropower
      • ACE model
      • Description of chapters
    • Hypertexts >
      • Me, looking for meaning >
        • A
        • B >
          • Binaries
          • Both sides
          • Bureaucracy
        • C >
          • Can I give myself credit for being empathetic?
          • Choice
          • Circumstances
          • Cognitive biases
          • Common sense
          • Communication
          • Coincidence
          • Content and form of this book
          • Coronavirus and me
          • Culture
          • Cycle of violence
        • D >
          • Depression
          • Do children ask themselves about the purpose of life?
          • Doing the right thing
        • E >
          • Emotional pain
          • Empathy
          • Empathy as a matter of self-preservation
          • Everybody has their struggles
          • Everybody is connected
          • Explain/excuse conflation
        • F >
          • Feelings and emotions
          • Forgetting about your purpose
          • Free will
        • G >
          • Good vs. Bad
        • H >
          • Meaning of honor
          • How much do we understand each other?
          • Human brain
          • Human nature
          • Human needs
          • Human thinking
          • Human thinking is nonlinear
          • Hurt people hurt people
          • Hypertext books
        • I >
          • I am an optimist
          • Ideas
          • "I'll never understand!"
          • Individual meanings vs. shared meanings
          • Inner compass
          • Interpretation
          • "It is what it is"
        • J
        • K >
          • Knowing your true purpose
          • Knowledge
        • L >
          • Language
          • List of completed pages
          • Literal vs. nonliteral communication
        • M >
          • Make Sense
          • May I meet this, too, with kindness
          • Meaning as importance
          • Mean and stupid
          • My Anxiety
          • Meaning
          • Meaningless
          • Meaning wars
          • Meaning of life
          • Meaning communities
          • Meanings perceived by animals
          • Meaning-seeking vs. meaning-making
          • Media
          • (Mis)understanding each other's needs
          • Misunderstanding
          • My perfectionism
          • My quest for meaning
        • N >
          • Norms and normal
        • O >
          • Objectification
          • On being a scholar
          • On being a writer
          • On being right
        • P >
          • Paradox
          • Privilege
          • Polarization
          • Postmodern worldview
          • Postmodern philosophy
          • Power
          • Power of the mind
          • Problem/solution binary
        • Q
        • R >
          • Reality
          • Rhizome in philosophy
        • S >
          • Science, religion and art
          • Self-awareness and empathy of higher order
          • Self-awareness
          • Self-empathy
          • Stories we tell
          • Society vs Individual
          • Subjectivity and objectivity
          • Suggested citation format
          • Symbolic interactionism and Buddhism
          • Synesthesia
        • T >
          • "The Death of the Author"
          • The importance of having a purpose
          • Truth
        • U >
          • Understanding ourselves
          • Us and them
        • V >
          • Verbal vs. nonverbal communication
          • Violence in the human nature
        • W >
          • What does it mean to "understand"?
          • What is a text?
          • What we can learn about ourselves from media
          • What is "natural"?
          • What's the point?
          • What will this project become?
          • When conflicts get out of control
          • Where do meanings come from?
          • Why am I trying to stay sane?
          • Why do people hurt each other?
          • Why is language so unhelpful?
          • Why do everyday objects make sense?
          • Why do misunderstandings happen?
        • X
        • Y
        • Z
      • Power of meanings // Meanings of power
  • Editing
    • Me as your editor
    • How I will help you
    • Pricing
    • Privacy policy
  • Blog
  • Learn more
    • Workshops >
      • Five (easy) steps to become media literate
      • Surviving the polarization vortex
      • Understanding yourself
      • Not enough
    • Bio
    • Talks and interviews
    • Essays
    • Poetry >
      • Russian poems >
        • Stranger
        • Lonely heart
        • Fairy tales
        • Dreams and nightmares
        • Puzzles
        • Moon
        • Seasons
        • Muse
        • Art
        • Games
        • Sketches
        • Nonsense
      • Video poems (English and Russian) >
        • Butterfly (poem)
        • One day, I will return (poem)
        • Where are you now? (poem)
        • Hole in the world (poem)
        • Wondering (poem)
        • Wanderer II (poem)
        • What people call love (poem)
    • Epoxy resin
    • Photography
    • Educational materials
  • Contact me