Elizaveta Friesem
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I AM STARTING TO DOCUMENT MY DEPARTURE FROM FACEBOOK (It's Going to Be Painful)

10/5/2021

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Picture
Today, I decided to leave Facebook and associated platforms (Instagram and WhatsApp). I am going to document my transition away from the social network that I have been using for the last fifteen years or so. Twenty years! This sounds scary. Anyhow, this is what I posted on Facebook today in order to alert my friends about my decision:

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Hi all,

I am writing to let you know that I am most probably going to leave Facebook soon. After reading reports about the latest testimony by the whistleblower Frances Haugen, I am very upset. For a while now, I did not think that Facebook is oh-so-wonderful. According to Haugen's testimony, the situation is way worse than I imagined.

If you are familiar with my worldview, you should know that I value both accountability and empathy. I do not think that people who work at Facebook are evil. They make choices based on their biases (like all of us do) and limited by multiple constraints (that we all have). I am sure each of these people has a story that explains their motives in a way that would go beyond the "they are just horrible human beings" kind of explanation. At the same time, I think that any actions that hurt others should have some meaningful consequences - ideally, diminishing the harm. Biases and constraints cannot be fully eliminated, but most people have at least some freedom to make different decisions.

If you follow my work, you may also be familiar with my whole "media is us" argument. I think that Facebook is not merely the people who run it, but also all the people who are using it. And I don't feel comfortable being one of the latter anymore. This means deleting Instagram and WhatsApp as well, sigh. By the way, I also do not think that people who keep using Facebook and its products are somehow bad. So if you are staying, me leaving is not the same as me judging your choice.
​
All of this will take some time, as I want to try saving some of the content I have here and making sure I am not losing my contacts (especially on WhatsApp). The process I anticipate will be very sad and annoying (it will take a few days, maybe weeks), but this just feels like the right thing to do right now. Once I am gone from Facebook, you will be able to find updates about my life and work on my personal website elizavetafriesem.com.
Stay safe! Love to all.
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I use AI tools as a kind of writing partner—to shape drafts, clarify arguments, and explore phrasing. But the ideas, perspectives, and direction are always my own. Every piece here is part of an evolving personal project. For more details about my use of AI, see here.
  • About
  • Books
    • Media is us >
      • Principles of communication
      • Micro- and macropower
      • ACE model
      • Description of chapters
    • Hypertexts >
      • Me, looking for meaning >
        • A >
          • Are you an individual?
        • B
        • C
        • D
        • E >
          • Empathy with Boundaries
        • F
        • G
        • H >
          • Human thinking
          • Human thinking is nonlinear
        • I >
          • Ideas
        • J
        • K
        • L >
          • List of completed pages
          • The Lure of Special
        • M >
          • Make Sense
          • Mean and stupid
          • Meaning
          • Meaningless
          • Meaning-making vs. sensemaking
          • My quest for meaning
          • The Myth of "Bad People"
        • N >
          • Narratives and Circumstances
        • O >
          • On being a scholar
        • P >
          • Postmodern philosophy
        • Q
        • R >
          • Reality
          • Rethinking What It Means to “Love Your Enemy”
          • Rhizome in philosophy
        • S >
          • Stories we tell
          • Symbolic interactionism and Buddhism
        • T >
          • The importance of having a purpose
          • Three Blind Men vs Rashomon
          • Three Coordinates
          • Trust and Conflict (and Dragons)
        • U
        • V
        • W >
          • What does it mean to "understand"?
          • Why do people hurt each other?
          • Why is language so unhelpful?
          • Moral complexity and ambiguity of truth in Wicked
        • X
        • Y
        • Z
  • Editing
    • Me as your editor
    • How I will help you
    • Pricing
    • Privacy policy
  • Blog
  • Poetry
    • Video poems (English and Russian) >
      • Butterfly (poem)
      • One day, I will return (poem)
      • Where are you now? (poem)
      • Hole in the world (poem)
      • Wondering (poem)
      • Wanderer II (poem)
      • What people call love (poem)
      • Lullaby (poem)
      • You Walk Along These Streets (Poem in Russian)
    • Russian poems >
      • Stranger
      • Lonely heart
      • Fairy tales
      • Dreams and nightmares
      • Puzzles
      • Moon
      • Seasons
      • Muse
      • Art
      • Games
      • Sketches
      • Nonsense
  • Learn more
    • Bio
    • Talks and interviews
    • Essays
    • Epoxy resin
    • Photography
    • Workshops >
      • Five (easy) steps to become media literate
      • Surviving the polarization vortex
      • Understanding yourself
      • Not enough
  • Contact me