Elizaveta Friesem
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WE ALL ARE MADLY, TERRIBLY LONELY (But Not Really)

8/29/2021

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Picture
As I am slowly rearranging my old Russian poems, they keep surprising me with how some things about me changed while others did not, no matter how many years have passed. For example, the poem below is about loneliness that results from our inability to put into words how we really feel, what we really experience. Coincidentally, the next entry that I am planning to write for my online experimental book Me, Looking for Meaning is supposed to be titled: "Why is language so unhelpful?". I love languages, and I know a few (which does not make me a linguistic expert, or course), yet I am continually amazed by how difficult it is to explain ourselves through words. 

​I am convinced that many misunderstandings, big and small, stem from our assumption that language is a simple and transparent tool. Abandoning it would be stupid, of course. Is there a solution? Blindly relying on words can make us feel desperate and lonely, the way I am describing it in my poem below. By acknowledging the imperfections of language without rejecting it, we may be able to find a place beyond words where a truer connection is possible.
***
We all are madly, terribly lonely.
So I will not tell you
What kind of rain was walking today on the roof
With its purple-blue tail,
Or what kind of night was flowing into the window,
Or how the sweetly silent clouds
Were rubbing their backs against the earth.
And you too, I am begging you, don't tell me,
Don't tell me anything at all.
***
Мы все безумно одиноки.
И я тебе не расскажу,
Какой сегодня дождь по крыше
Гулял – с хвостом лилово-синим,
Какая ночь в окно втекала,
Как сладко облака молчали
И терлись спинами о землю.
И ты, прошу, не говори мне,
Не говори мне ни о чем.
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    I mostly use this blog to share new or updated entries of my hypertext projects. If you see several versions of the same entry published over time, know that the latest version is the most updated.
  • About
  • Books
    • Media is us >
      • Principles of communication
      • Micro- and macropower
      • ACE model
      • Description of chapters
      • When conflicts get out of control
    • Hypertexts >
      • Me, looking for meaning >
        • A >
          • Anxiety
          • Am I strong or am I weak?
        • B >
          • Binaries
          • Both sides
          • D >
            • Depression
            • Do children ask themselves about the purpose of life?
            • Doing the right thing
        • E >
          • C >
            • Can I give myself credit for being empathetic?
            • Choice
            • Circumstances
            • Cognitive biases
            • Common sense
            • Communication
            • Content and form of this book
            • Coronavirus and me
            • Culture
            • Cycle of violence
          • Emotional pain
          • Empathy
          • Empathy as a matter of self-preservation
          • Everybody has their struggles
          • Everybody is connected
          • Explain/excuse conflation
        • F >
          • Feelings and emotions
          • Forgetting about your purpose
          • Free will
        • G >
          • Good vs. evil
        • H >
          • How much do we understand each other?
          • Human brain
          • Human nature
          • Human needs
          • Human thinking
          • Human thinking is nonlinear
          • Hypertext books
        • I >
          • I am an optimist
          • Ideas
          • "I'll never understand!"
          • Individual meanings vs. shared meanings
          • Inner compass
          • Interpretation
          • "It is what it is"
        • J
        • K >
          • Knowing your true purpose
          • Knowledge
        • L >
          • Language
          • List of completed pages
          • Literal vs. nonliteral communication
        • M >
          • Make Sense
          • May I meet this, too, with kindness
          • Meaning as importance
          • Mean and stupid
          • Meaning
          • Meaningless
          • Meaning wars
          • Meaning of life
          • Meaning communities
          • Meanings perceived by animals
          • Meaning-seeking vs. meaning-making
          • Media
          • (Mis)understanding each other's needs
          • My quest for meaning
        • N >
          • Norms
        • O >
          • Objectification
          • On being a scholar
          • On being a writer
          • On being right
        • P >
          • Paradox
          • Parenting
          • Privilege
          • Polarization
          • Postmodern worldview
          • Postmodern philosophy
          • Power
          • Power to see things in a certain way
          • Problem/solution binary
        • Q
        • R >
          • Reality
          • Rhizome in philosophy
        • S >
          • Science, religion and art
          • Self-awareness and empathy of higher order
          • Self-awareness
          • Self-empathy
          • Subjectivity and objectivity
          • Suggested citation format
          • Synesthesia
        • T >
          • "The Death of the Author"
          • The importance of having a purpose
          • Truth
        • U >
          • Understanding ourselves
          • Us and them
        • V >
          • Verbal vs. nonverbal communication
          • Violence in the human nature
        • W >
          • What does it mean to "understand"?
          • What is a text?
          • What we can learn about ourselves from media
          • What is "natural"?
          • What's the point?
          • What will this project become?
          • We hurt others when we are in pain
          • Where do meanings come from?
          • Why am I trying to stay sane?
          • Why do people hurt each other?
          • Why is language so unhelpful?
          • Why do everyday objects make sense?
          • Why do misunderstandings happen?
        • X
        • Y
        • Z
      • Power of meanings // Meanings of power
      • It's not about "them"
  • Editing
    • Me as your editor
    • How I will help you
    • Pricing
    • Privacy policy
  • Blog
  • Workshops
    • Five (easy) steps to become media literate
    • Surviving the polarization vortex
    • Understanding yourself
    • Not enough
  • Learn more
    • Bio
    • Talks and interviews
    • Poems >
      • Stranger
      • Lonely heart
      • Fairy tales
      • Dreams and nightmares
      • Puzzles
      • Moon
      • Seasons
      • Muse
      • Art
      • Sketches
      • Nonsense
    • Educational materials
  • Contact me